The Cone of Shame

by Peanut

The Butt People

It started out as an ordinary day. But no, Dad took me to the scary place with the butt people. He left without me, and I secretly cried because I thought he was going to abandon me for days again. I mean, I know this place isn't bad or anything, but he could've at least given me a warning, right?

Then the pack leader of the butt people did something to me. And I started to feel really sleepy. So so sleepy.

The next thing I remember is waking up. I tried to look for Dad, but all I could see was something blue. That's when I realized.......


I panicked. Why? Why??? I'd been a good boy. Sure I peed in the house sometimes when I was scared, but that happens to everyone. What did I ever do?? Maybe it was that one time I accidentally bit Dad too hard???? Why would they do this to me?????

I couldn't tell how much time had passed. But Dad finally came back. I tried to act cool, but I was so upset. Why Dad??? Don't you love me anymore??? I cried and cried, and I was relieved because Dad gave me really nice hugs and was really nice to me. 

He kept saying "My poor baby boy, my poor baby boy," as we walked home. He took the cone of shame off me, but he still held it in his hands. He said something about my nuts too, but I don't really know what he meant. I mean, I'm not a chipmunk. I don't go around collecting nuts or anything. The only nut I know of is the nut that's in my name.

When we got home, he put the Cone of Shame on me again. And then Mom came home. She reacted the same way Dad did when he came to pick me up. I tried to go and kiss her, but the Cone of Shame kept getting in the way. More than embarrassed about it, I became annoyed of it. It just kept getting in the way! I was bumping into everything.

The good thing was, they didn't make me wear it outside. If the other dogs saw me wearing it..... My reputation would've been destroyed.

Cone-Free Once Again

Then this morning, Dad took me to the butt place again. They didn't touch my butt, but they touched my private area. I'm starting to hate that place again. It's fine though, because I saw Dad give the Cone of Shame to the butt people. I don't have to wear it anymore!!

I'm Peanut and I'm a pit bull.